Am I correct in saying that Monday Bites? (Yes, of course I am correct.) Even science backs me up on this... Monday morning brings on more death than any other day / time of the week. This means that even the Grim Reaper GETS IT! Which does not say much for the rest of us billions of humans here on the planet, because obviously, in our millions of years of evolution we still can't figure out a solution for Monday. Oh, we can clone sheep from a petri dish and from that same dish we can even grow you a new finger, nose, ear, breast, (p***s!). We can change your gender! A man can birth a baby! We can get tourists to space now (well, not now but Virgin Galactic is gonna getcha there real soon). We can predict with annoying certainty the weather, too. And then we can choose to ignore it. So what gives? Why can't we find any solution for Mondays? Hmmph.
Maybe its because we are just dumb, after all. But, usually when there is no solution for something, its because we don't properly state the problem. When most people are asked "What's so bad about Monday" they will give some sort of answer such as "Well I just want a longer weekend." "I gotta go back to work and 2 days is just not long enough." "I hate my job." And ya know, I think these are good -- but these may be half-truths. I mean yes, returning to work after that great lil' faux holiday called the weekend, is no fun. But maybe the bigger truth is deep down I think we all feel a little like (GASP!) WHY DO WE HAVE TO WORK AT ALL!!?? I AM DOING F*** ALL AT MY JOB, I STILL CAN'T SHOP AT BERGDORFS AND IT'S B**S***!
And let me tell you, after my last 6 year position where I not only gave my very best-est but also adored my boss and really tried to make myself worth my pay because I was grateful, only to be let go with less than a 2 week notice because of downsizing when really it was because of politics and other nonsense, I FULLY AGREE THAT WORKING IS FOR THE BIRDS.
I am not trying to be a spoiled brat here. I am not speaking to those .00001% who are actually able to make an income off of something they really enjoy. Trust me, if I could make my rent on playing ballet all day -- as grueling as the dieting and training are and as bitchy as those other starving girls are -- I'd nary miss a day of "WORK". But I am talking about all of the rest of us who are doing things to "pay the bills" but really feeling like we are just spinning our wheels for nothing, and getting bitchier by the second.
WHY DOES THIS BOTHER US SO MUCH? Could it be because IT IS A FACT that human beings are NOT birds, and as such we can not receive the same simple pleasure from merely putting food in our mouths and acquiring shelter? DUH. Could it be that we are, instead, creative, energetic beings and we need to enjoy ourselves in order to really be motivated or useful!? Could it be that we feel pissy about the logistic nightmare this creates in our world because we would rather it be much more easy to define and negotiate? Well, I think yes, this is what it could be and that, yes, this is the real predicament we find ourselves in. The simple reality is, 2009 years after Baby Jesus we are still spinning our wheels on the real problem, which is, HOW DO WE CREATE A SOCIETY WHERE EACH AND EVERY PERSON CAN CONTRIBUTE AND FEEL FULFILLED AT THE SAME TIME? HOW DO WE CREATE A SOCIETY OF JOY -- WITHOUT THE DRUDGERY OF WORK!"
Oh boy -- even writing that is daunting! But here is the thing: Work is a concept we both buy and sell because we simply can't wrap our heads around the fact that its a concept that needs to be re-thought all together. Our most recent little economic spiral teaches us that THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH MONEY. EVER. THERE IS NEVER REAL SECURITY. AND SECURITY ISN'T WHAT WE REALLY CRAVE. MONEY ISN'T WHAT WE CRAVE EITHER. WE CRAVE HAPPINESS! WE CRAVE JOY! And my hypothesis is that because we are all afraid to really dig our heels into these bigger problems, we go about creating tons of other problems to busy ourselves with so we can avoid the one that really need our attention. Kind of like when a couple focuses on loving their children (or bickering with their children) instead of each other because they don't want to deal with the fact that they don't know, or even like each other anymore. Then the children leave, and........oh, you know the rest.
I certainly can't solve this issue in one writing. But I have now decided that Mondays will be my official day to write my Monday's Advice For World Happiness column. I know I gotta do some research on God's Advice on the issue too, ya know, to make it worthy, but before we bother annoying the Creator even more than we already have, I think that for our first official MAFWH Column, there are 4 simple things that even you, sitting there at your dreaded desk, during your dreaded Monday, can do to get the ball rolling:
1. Type up this little idea 5 times: IT IS POSSIBLE FOR EVERYONE IN THE WORLD TO DO WHAT THEY LOVE AND FOR ALL OF US TO SURVIVE, AND EVEN THRIVE!
1b. Now tape it up in these 5 places: 1. your front door 2. your wallet 3. your desk/computer 4. your cell phone 5. your alarm clock.
It's important that we state this idea and spread it because once an idea takes hold with a variety of people, solutions start pouring in. Right now, many want to believe this this but are too afraid to let it leave their little imaginations -- but here, I said it and put it on the World Wide Web. And now I have given you direct orders to do your little part to spread The Gospel. So do it now, and blame it on me.
2. Now, type up 5 THINGS YOU WOULD REALLY ENJOY DOING AS A CAREER IF MONEY WERE NOT THE ISSUE. And post this right in the same 5 places with your little mantra, up in #1. Hving these ideas crossing your mind alot sure can't hurt.
3. Lets start a WORLD WIDE HAPPINESS POLL, using Internet technology of course, to find out what people really love to do and would do if they didn't have to consider money. I bet we will be surprised to find that there is a whole bunch of people who really enjoy doing the things we ourselves would rather not and this will help us believe in #1 even more. Even if we find that no one really wants to pick up trash, if we put the trash picker-uppers into happier lives, we can build some sort of robot/magnetic field/vaporizing system to deal with our trash. Talk about Sci-Fi Fun For All Those Techies! So no worries, its all possible, but we need to know what others are thinking. Please email 10 of your friends & ask them their top 5 job desires as in #2 above. Again blame it on me if they think you are nuts and then of course send me their answers (no names needed) at mblb@live.com. I will start compiling them all for Print!
4. Read O Magazine here. That's right. Oprah may be leaving the networks, but you can't beat all the inspiration packed into this little 2 inch monthly! From others who have done it, to those who have failed and are back in the saddle again, Oprah is the one lady who can PROVE that IT IS POSSIBLE TO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE! So stop hating, and let her inspire you to get off your duff and find a way!
This should be enough for your Monday Happiness Assignment. NOW HOP TO!
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