It doesn't help that I saw those horrible Chewbacca Anklets yet again (!!). This served only to make my head pound harder as I was sitting there trying to think of a way to make my argument against such attire stick. I mean it's one thing to see them on the street with the Gentry, who are more practical than chic most days and who can but blame them, being the working gals and all. But at the Tents? These are supposedly the Fashion Elite, who are either there because they work inside the world, or because they have no need of working at all and therefore are the buying public! So I feel in this case, it is my Duty to set things straight. Here is a visual exhibit for your reference:
Do you see how even Chewbacca himself kept his fur from the knee down, not just around the ankles... he sort of mashed down the knee area to give a bit of tailoring to his leg, but he had the sense not to try to shave it into some furry cankle mess around his foot. He had some pride - or perhaps Han Solo styled him (which could be why he is standing there so proudly with Chew). Either way he looks a happy, stylish beast.
The real question remains: CAN YOU ALL PLEASE FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE? FAUX CHEWBACCA FUR ONLY FROM THE KNEE DOWN....NOT A CANKLET! (you better not be wearing REAL Chewbacca fur-- he is an endangered species!) If you insist on a sort of furry anklet try mink or some other glossy fur that will stay close to the leg and look CHIC! Especially if you are actually able to afford Designer Garb -- you better look chic! Or you better truly look like some sort of fashionable nomad with all sorts of draped fabrics hanging on you -- which will serve to loosen the severity of the look and could work (but perhaps you want to seek some of Tavi's suggestions as to HOW!) All of the gals I've seen running around in these have tucked in riding denim or tights on -- it is a holy hot mess! I think indeed these gals may be crashing the party - and I need to alert the Security Boys! LADIES, DROP THEM OFF AT A CHARITY! or wear them in a MUCH more outlandish creative fashion! Please!
All of this this only made me want to go and find a cozy spot to lay down and sleep -- so I headed over to the Maybelline Couches to snuggle in. This lasted for about 5 minutes before I was told I could not snuggle there because a "model" was coming any minute to get a press op. Ok. Yeah. Right. One thing I've learned is that if the workers at Fashion Week say a model is coming "any minute" it will be 45 minutes. So I obeyed and got up -- only to wait 45 minutes for Miss Maybelline to show up. ADVICE TO OBEY MAYBELLINE: Please don't interrupt my lounging time ... I'm a working girl just like you but I'm running about on concrete -- not carpet! I'll have plenty of time to get up and look fresh before "the model" arrives! Truly!
Shows at the Tents were: Tory Burch, Michael Kors, Nanette Lapore, Phillip Lim, Milly, Alexandre Herchcovitch, Anna Sui, Brian Reyes. Off-Site I went to the Richie Rich/Pamela Anderson Show. Unh-huh!
I'll of course give fuller reports later but I will admit that after I finally found a comfy spot on the leather chaise in front of the big screens I didn't want to move... I was too tired to stand in line and well figured you get a better view from there anyhoo.
Things I overheard lounging: "In Brazil Alexandre Herchcovitch is our budding McQueen!" "We don't even call him Alexandre, we just call him Herchcovitch"! hmmm.. we shall see. at least he is alive.
Richie Rich: Everyone was talking up the Richie Rich show for the entire day, so much so that I decided to miss Anna Sui to go. It obviously had a "reputation". Figuring this would be more fun and certainly more outrageous than the tents, I went over to Amnesia on 29th -- got there at Press Call time of 7 and had not one problem getting in. YAY. Of course at this point there was no real excitement except there were all these GORGEOUS male models with wonderful face paint on. This made me wake right up thinking OH! YAY! a combined show of ladies and MEN!(I love men if you couldn't surmise!) Also in attendance were a whole crew of dancers and aerialists, and as the night went on every top drag queen in the city showed face, with Kenny Kenny our most lovely of nightlife gents leading the pack. Kenny sat all dolled up in the front row of the stage show looking absolutely bored NO! I MEAN CHIC for most of the time. Ms. Banana Dancer strutted her bananas about vigorously. Imagine: 6'2 Beautiful Black Man in Drag, wearing a gold glitter bikini top and totally tight barely there bikini bottoms with a belt of felted bananas swinging about to 'her' very vivacious booty shakes! Add to this a load of high kicks and front and back walk-overs in the best shoes I've seen all week! I LOVE HER SHOES!(TOP SECRET SHHH DON'T TELL!! THIS ENSEMBLE TRULY QUALIFIED AS THE BEST 'MEN'S' GARB ALL NIGHT although I think Richie Rich had little to do with it! UH OH!) I wish I got his / her name but truly, I was so tired -- AND TOO HUNGRY to ask! Famed Transdame Amanda Lepore was in attendance, and she looked an outrage.ously grand dame! Her lips are pumped to such absolute red perfection -- it sort of made all the other "pumpings" obsolete! Then of course there was this other sort of Asian Doll Face bouncing about -- all primped with petticoats galore! She had a Lady Bunny style hairpiece but she was in fact, not Lady Bunny! :( Where was the real Lady Bunny? No clue. I missed her! I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again -- the 'gay' community is my favorite of favorites! After spending exhaustive days in the tents running about in heels on concrete and viewing very serious fashion it was great to be in an environment of entertainment and creativity -- and COLOR!
The show itself started over an hour late because of course Ms. Anderson was an hour late! Annoying -- by this point I was feeling that if you are going to be fashionably late it would help to be fashionable! UH OH I'M IN BIG TROUBLE NOW but this is what low blood sugar does to a dame -- it brings out the truth! I mean Madame Lepore wasn't late, and she could have gotten away with it. But she showed up on time and graciously spoke to the press and posed for the cameras! By the time Pammy arrived there was a low sort of "booing" amongst the crowd as people were more than ready to leave. Afterall it was her anticipated arrival that the press was there so far in advance in the first place and now they wouldn't have time to do any real red carpet shots or interviews - she just rushed right by! ADVICE TO OBEY FOR THOSE USING CELEBRITIES OF THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT GENRE: always have a back up band/group in attendance -- can I suggest my very own Caberet of Gals, LES FEMMES? We could have kept the press and crowd happily pleasured with our wonderful covers of all the Bombshell materials and Miss Bananas would have been able to perform even longer --- which I think it is safe to say we all enjoyed her! Seriously, these more 'Adult Stars' always pull this sort of thing -- and to no good effect -- bc well, this is a press event not a party (the party is later! ). Arriving in her bath robe with tousled bed hair as if someone had just woken her up from sleeping in to tell her that she had an appearance to make for her very own 'investment' line, she finally, did arrive! To an underwhelmed crowd indeed.
From here the entertainment began quickly, first the Dancers YAY! and then the sort of Drag Persona's and then FINALLY the models and the clothes... right away the music and environment was fun fun and I was really happy about that! I enjoyed the Women's Collection immensely-- it being very punk styling with neon colors, striping and leggings and high heels -- think Andy Warhol, London, Pet Shop Boys, Punk Rock -- Adam Lambert should call Richie right away for wardrobe! I think I've been color starved all week so for me this all made me very very happy bitch. Hungry, but happy! Very wearable for the Lower East Side / Model Crew. I'd certainly wear it out late at night -- after my hair has been turned platinum! YAY.
Then the MEN! Ok I want to try to tone down my disappointment - this because Richie is great and I do get his "viewpoint". But the hungry, tired truth? I couldn't look bc I thought it was ridiculous! All these gorgeously bodied men in skin tight sweat pants and hot pants? Skin tight extreme-scant cut speedos with glitter tassels and rhinestones? I pretty much covered my eyes bc I didn't want to see such a mess of gorgeous huMANity! Afterwards, I heard someone raving "Oh Richie -- he really goes there! It's Great!" I thought WHAT? Goes where? Every gay man in America has been donning these ideas for like 50 years! This is nothing new and there is no shock value any longer -- good reason for this NOT to hit the mass community at large. Can you imagine the bulk of straight men even trying to wear this? ABSURD. It's all fun to see this at a Kenny Kenny Bash -- it is in fact used to a beautiful effect in this setting - but On a Runway? For the Masses? This is a Pret-a-Porter show right?? I thought that is what it was but now I THINK NOT! I felt so sorry for these beautiful gents -- this was not at all effective, except for the FINALE when 4 scant-clad men lined up for the entrance of Pamela Anderson and Lepore and Miss Bananas etc. to strut out her very scant clad body herself! In this theatrical manner it all made sense as they posed as her sort of boy-toys -- which she rubbed her very bubbly, voluminous chest upon -- ok I get that. And I also wouldn't object at all for these boys to be wearing this and delivering drinks to us all (I would have liked that better even than the ladies who were actually doing said same). This would have appropriately served as a sort of harem effect within the audience -- but for the actual runway it would have been great for Richie to design some of the cool garments for the men that he made for the women... not just banking on this sort of 'serious nothingness'. Really Richie, I know you could design some great men's CLOTHES -- look at yourself -- you looked very cool!
Anyhoo by the end of all this I was so hungry I was about to bite a hunk out of one of those more beefy men -- so I decided to skip the after party, and get some food!
BITCHIN' SIGHTINGS TODAY: COCOTAY has the best business gold metal cards I've EVER seen -- and I want some immediately! Her jewels were scattered amongst this collection and they are glamorous! With her collection being named "Cocotay Social", "Champagne Collection" and "Martini Collection" who couldn't love her old-hollywood, sort of beach-chic styling! Check out their inspiration list-- too fun! Plus Coco herself is a really nice gal! She's bitchin' for sho'!
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