It's Sunday evening and I am actually home before midnight, which means I have not one excuse not to write Monday's Advice! This week the mantra is: ACCEPT YOUR BRAND OF BEAUTY!
This comes to my mind for a few reasons: 1.) I am a Woman and 2.) I am a Woman. Get it? So of course the topic of Beauty comes up more often than I'd like to admit, if not in conversation with others, than certainly in conversation with myself. I have been striving for perfect hair for my entire life -- getting no where fast at all -- and well, my most favorite thing in the world is Ballet, which is even more strict than the Fashion Industry as to the impossible ideals of beauty that must be maintained for The Sake of The Art! I mean Ballerina's measure ankle fat over their shoe ribbons for Christ's Sake! It is absurd! Lately, as I have begun my own more detailed work with my cabaret troupe The Lady Dames, I have realized that we ladies have truly become pigeon holed with the ideology of beauty, literally to a not so attractive fault. I also realize that I adore luscious, large women!
To further our discussion, let's look at a few examples, shall we? Beginning with my own:
I am genetically set to have a petite frame of an hour glass shape, with a metabolism from Nike himself! I can eat like a horse, with Steak and Potatoes being my absolute favorite (God's Truth, I was eating a 1lb Steak at age 12). I have always been athletic -- being h a hyper-gymnast type as a child, and have never weighed over 110 -- and if I did it wouldn't really cohere to my frame in an attractive manner -- it would just hang as sort of loose weight. In general I stand 5'3 and weigh 103-105lbs. I am tiny; yet also curvy, with full hips and certainly the ability to have a full chest. And yet, FOR BALLET, I kid you not, I am literally considered perfect when my weight is at 94. What do I mean by perfect? I mean that I can lift my leg sky high without a bit of extra effort and the line of my body looks long and strong, and my jumps are through the roof because of the weight/mass/force ratios being near perfected for athletic endeavors. Back in the summer of 2008 I actually reached this ideal weight in my effort to attend a summer training intensive with a major ballet company, where I faked my Birth Certificate, Immunization Record and State ID in an effort to seem 10 years younger so I could get in. It worked! And I was jumping around so high it was like I turned into a bird. I was literally in better shape than every child in the program and well, I felt energized and great!
But let me very clear: Getting to this weight was no easy endeavor, even for a fast metabolism such as my own. My body wants to be that of a pinup -- thin but fleshy -- and is not easily coerced into racehorse shape. In order to drop what was nearly 10% of my weight below my most natural point, I saw a nutritionist weekly, had a trainer, counted every minuscule calorie and was as disciplined as a monk. On top of that, I took natural hormone boosters (the legal sort) and took vitamins etc at certain times of the day to maximize enzymes etc. It was an Olympic Effort and it was great to see how such attention to my biochemistry could reap amazing results. My clothes looked great and I felt like Audrey Hepburn -- all skinny and fashionable and elegant. However, you could see my ribs at my neck and I was asked daily if I was "ok". I also had no monthly cycle during that time, and was hallucinating mid-day of things like, uhm.... rice pudding. To further the flattery, I was told by every single man I met (seriously, EVERY. SINGLE. ONE) that I was "too thin!". AHHHHH....
Now, a few years later, I am right back to my natural set point -- that is 105, with most of it residing in my hip/thigh area. My leg isn't nearly so high in ballet class. I also have my female monthly. And I can eat an ice-cream cone! Of course, while I know that I can be lighter and fiercer, I also know that to carry on that stringent routine all year around would indeed make me insane, ugly and even injurious. So, I don't bother to drop the extra 10 unless there is a very good pressing reason, such as an audition or performance or what not.
Now this brings me to a little celebrity comparison: namely, Kirstie Alley. I just saw a most glamorous and beautiful picture of Kirstie in the newspaper -- but of course instead of the picture alluding to her "beauty" it was alluding to the fact that she has "gained it all back". Seems that Kirstie is actually televising her struggle with weight...(A TOTAL FARCE!) and I am sitting there, reading, literally FLOORED by the fact that this most gorgeous, albeit larger woman, is hating on herself and putting herself through a routine that is surely as torturous as my little ballet routine. Except she is not doing ballet. She is simply an actress -- a darn funny & beautiful one, I might add - but she doesn't even get to wear pretty pointe shoes and tutu's!
This infuriated me, not only because when she was thin, I had always thought that she looked a bit "drawn" -- -- it was always so obvious that her natural physique is a bit more plump. Indeed, she should be thoroughly enjoying the sensuality and feminine nature of her god-given curves, as should The Public! It also infuriated me because The Lady Dames are seeking a full-figured broad for our show, but we can't seem to find one who actually embraces her figure -- rather we keep finding gals who we need to tip-toe around the subject with! ANNOYING!
I get even more furious when I recall all the sickly looking gals at fashion week who are very strictly trying to emulate super-genetic-freak models as if it is THE STANDARD of beauty. LET ME SAY IT: The most beautiful woman I saw at Fashion Week was LYNN YAEGER! She was adorable, stylish, fun, sexy and LUSCIOUS! Even more infuriating is the fact that this little trend of the super thin model was started by designers needing to pick "ugly girls" so that the buyers could focus on the clothes and not the sexy, curvy gals of the time! And yet, now we think these girls are the pretty ones! I say: well, they are pretty, indeed. Pretty faced. (enough said)
Kirstie isn't the only celeb struggling with a natural set point 'above petite': Look at Tyra Banks, who was audaciously deemed "Pork Chop" by a recent tabloid! WHAT NERVE! She is one gorgeously thick woman, and looks akin to an Alien when she gets too thin. Look at Oprah who struggles to accept her wonderful curves -- not that she should accept being grossly obese, which at one time she was, but now she is eating healthier than ever, looks great & the truth is that her 15 minutes of being a size 6 was horrible -- she looked sick! Now that she has come back to a more natural body for herself she looks alive, vibrant, healthy! Even Kim Khardasian better be on guard, as for the moment she is accepted as the convenient sex pot, but give her 5 more years and she'll be the newest victim of the scale-focused tabloids!
All of this is just a recipe for misery! The reality is that everyone has their own unique genetics AND their own unique brand of beauty. Some are like myself, petite and curvy at the same time, others are boyish and more like that of a super-model waif, others are pear shaped and thunderous, and even more, full-figured hour-glasses, like Marilyn Monroe! Don't get me wrong, I am not advocating obesity that is truly the result of emotionally-driven/disturbed eating. But I am saying that we could all help ourselves on the road to happiness if we would embrace our most natural selves, our genes and all of it's very necessary diversity, curves, or no curves at all and stop this incessant nonsense gibberish about being thin, thin, thin, thin, thin! Especially when many women simply don't look their best when they are too thin! I mean already teenage girls are obsessed with their weight! Come on! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
To hear such vehement and stringent ideals of beauty being espoused all over the mainstream media in a sort of "mass marketed" manner is just tacky. It is brainwashing. IT IS UGLY. And certainly IT IS NOT HAPPY.
So today is Monday. Let's get a good start on happiness by eating a delicious breakfast that makes you feel energized, by embracing the head-to-toe reflection in the mirror and boycotting networks who think it's entertaining to air shows such as Kirstie's where they make money by mocking one of Hollywood's most beautiful, full-figured talents!
And Kirstie, drop that show like a Bombshell and come on and join The Dames! With curves that deserve, you will be our smokin' headliner!
I'm bringing' body back! XOXO!
Madame B.
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