Monday's Advice For World Happiness: 40 Days of Forgiveness

Well it's Monday again -- and time for my weekly Advice For World Happiness. Today's Advice stems from the fact that while I had a great "on track week" these last 7 days, I still failed miserably in my goals to accomplish everything I set out to do! My bedroom is still not picture perfect. I didn't get the wallpaper up in my living room. I didn't do Yoga once, nor did I finish writing my task sheet for getting back into Olympic Performance Condition either. And then to top it off, today was a total mess because last night I was out covering The APAP Dance Conference (which you can read all about this week in my Truth In Review column), after which I promptly went to a bar to mix and mingle with a drink, where I was trying to forget about the fact that I as much as I love this writing gig -- I dearly, sorely, tears-in-my-eyes, miss performing! Ugh.

And so now I face another Monday -- the 2nd of my new Life Application Decade --and wonder, will I ever get it right? Will I ever do enough? And I was wondering myself to worry so much that I had to call my So Happy Its Almost Annoying Life Coach/ Friend/Guru/Angel Quiana Claudio to tell her my woes, hoping she'd at least humor my fury. Her snide response? APPRECIATE. APPRECIATE. APPRECIATE.

Quiana pointed out to me that from her belief, any bad feeling we have about ourselves, others, situations, etc., factual or not, feels bad because we are not in alignment with how the Universe perceives these same facts. In other words, yeah, we may have f****D up by our own standards, but Quiana insists that the God is over it and loves us and wants our happiness for us, regardless. And she insists that if I continue to see my actions as negatives then I will continue to feel badly and will only bring upon myself further proof of my "guilt". She insists that everything I want to accomplish is already there but that I just need to be cooperative with the Universe in allowing it to be so! To which I am yelling / thinking "COOPERATIVE????!!!!HMPH! HOW CAN I BE COOPERATIVE WITH THE FACT THAT I'M WASTING MY LIFE, AND GETTING F*** A** DONE!!! HOW CAN I BE COOPERATIVE WITH THE FACT THAT GIVEN MY TRACK RECORD, I DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO PERFORM AGAIN! I DON'T DESERVE A JOB! I DON'T DESERVE A MAN! A DOG! MY CAT! MY HOME! AND I CERTAINLY DON'T DESERVE TO BITCH!

And with those little harsh thoughts buzzing around my thick skull, a light bulb blew right off: WHAT IS IT ABOUT US THAT MAKES IT SO HARD TO ACCEPT THE GRACE WE NEED TO LIVE OUR BEST LIVES? Isn't it just a fact that by our own very stringent rules, we all mess up all the time? We all waste time, money, energy and food! We all complain and bitch too much without nary a change in sight, we say things we shouldn't, we never dress appropriately, we don't go to bed on time, don't get up on time, don't do our yoga on time and certainly don't do enough ballet floor exercises. We make grand plans and drop them. We set aside money and spend it. We talk a good game and then fail in action. We say practice makes perfect, but then expect it perfect the first 100/1000/1,000,000 times? LET'S FACE IT FOLKS: THE ENTIRE WORLD IS A BUMBLING HYPOCRISY! and yet, our desires and longings are ever present, ever clear and possibly, ever warranted!

COULD IT REALLY BE THAT FORGIVENESS AND APPRECIATION ARE THE KEYS TO BREAKING THIS LITTLE NON-SENSICAL CYCLE?

Dare I say, that if each and every person spent just 40 Days (40 because both Jesus and Quiana agree that 40 is a magic #) making a concerted effort to forgive and appreciate every single right or wrong thing, person, situation etc. in their lives, World Happiness would be forthcoming! After all, even if you completed the last World Happiness Homework Assignment, which was to to focus on what you would love to do for an occupation, how would you actually do that thing you love if you are busy beating yourself up over why you haven't done it by now?

Am I the only one here that lives with the nudging little thought that if I were capable, willing and worthy of my dreams I would have gotten it right by now! In my mind's imagination I would be a successful, in-demand performing artist, free of college and parental debt, dining about Town with My Future Husband (James?), with a dog besides! I would be sleeping at 10 and arising at 6 to work out for 3-5 hours a day in order to stay in Olympic Performance Condition. I would have a lively social calendar filled with places to be and people to see. I would tour part of the season with The Koresh Dance Company in Philadelphia, and then finish by spotlighting as a Guest Artist with Company XIV and Morphoses here in NY! I would run a non-profit for foster-kids and open a world class training facility for artists! I would be....asleep. Ah, but, as it is, I am not. Not. Yet.

Instead I am here, writing this too long for the blogosphere entry, dining on the most simple, perfect Cauliflower Soup from Smitten Kitchen and hoping I'll make the time to write my APAP reviews, mail my Dad & Niece's Belated Birthday Cards and take a ballet class tomorrow. So who knows, if any of us are ever to reach our shooting star, perhaps 40 days of a little Compassion, Forgiveness and Appreciation may just prove the Break Monday's Advice we've been waiting for.

Thank you Quiana. (And Thank You, God.)

Mdme. B.